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This is my April Fools' Day Post:
I have heard through an exclusive source that earlier this week, Harvard Business School has made the following changes to its requirements for Fall 2009 admission:
1. HBS will no longer admit applicants with any substantial work experience beyond part-time jobs. While not stating anything specifically about age requirements, it is pretty clear that HBS will no longer be admitting applicants over age 23. Of course, older applicants can continue to apply, but they will be rejected.
2. HBS will begin its "10 plus Zero Program," targeting promising 12 year olds. If accepted by HBS, they will be offered a personal mentoring system guaranteeing admission into the MBA program after completion of their bachelors degree. (I have heard a vague unsubstantiated rumor that Stanford GSB will begin a prenatal admissions program, but only for legacy applicants.)
3. HBS will require that all applicants make full use of application re-writing services to insure that applicants provide essays of uniform quality so that differences in applicant background can be used as the basis for admission.
4. Those with GMATs over 740 need not apply because HBS has determined that leaders should not be brilliant.
For those of you who are over 12 years old and college graduates with work experience, you can still buy the Harvard Business Review or better yet, read most of it for free online. While there is a rumor that HBR will be launching a new animated cartoon in partnership with Marvel Comics, I could not get anyone to comment on it.
Other exciting news from HBS: Upon his retirement from the Office of the President of United States of America, George Bush (HBS, Class of 1975), will become HBS's first Honorary Professor of Leadership Failure. Also a Financial Failure Institute will be established with former Bear Stearns CEO James Cayne serving as its Executive Director and Bridge Master.
I hope you have a happy April.
-Mada Sukram
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